“Danger? Ha! I laugh in the face of danger.”
It’s really empowering to have that moment of realization that after all you’ve been through, you’re unfuckwithable.
As someone who speaks English as a second language, the first time I saw this word I had to do a double-take. Break it down, syllable by syllable, until I could properly understand it. According to the Wiktionary, it’s an “informal, nonstandard and vulgar adjective” that means “unable to be fucked with; untouchable; impervious to, or undeterred by opposition”.
My moment of realization came this week during a bike traffic argument. Yes. Bike. Traffic. Argument. I was cycling home from work and got stuck behind an elderly woman who was going really, really slow. Just ahead of us, a crowd of bikes had stopped to wait for a red light. I looked to my left, let a couple of bikes pass, and when there was a tiny space I went for it and overtook her. As I slowed down to join the others at the traffic light, another woman starts yelling at me like the world is ending. “YOU HAVE TO LOOK BEFORE YOU OVERTAKE SOMEONE!” she screams, while we’re both stopped at the red light. “I did,” I calmly reply. She continues to yell, face all red, and ends with “LEARN HOW TO DRIVE, DARLING!”. I just stare at her and say: “I’m fine, you’re fine, nothing happened. We’re okay.” The light turns green. She pedals off furiously and you can almost see the smoke coming out of her ears.
Had this happened a year ago, I have no doubt I would have lost sleep over it. I’d have driven myself mad thinking of clever responses to put her in her place. To show everyone else around us that I was right, and she was wrong. Now, all I could do was laugh and think of Simba.
There’s a scene in The Lion King where Simba recklessly takes Nala to the elephant graveyard and, upon seeing her cautious reaction, he says: “Danger? Ha! I walk on the wild side. I laugh in the face of danger. Ha! Ha! Ha!”. And while what happens next is definitely not pleasant, there’s something beautiful about that split second when you truly believe nothing can touch you. That innocence, that purity - is something we’re completely disconnected from when we’re living in fight or flight mode.
Everyone has different tolerance levels, when it comes to stress. As someone who grew up in São Paulo, a city with 22 million inhabitants, fight or flight was practically my restful state for most of my life. If you let your guard down in a city like that, someone will find a way to take advantage of you. So yeah, it feels a little funny that in the Disneyland of a city that is Amsterdam (compared to 90% of the world) someone would be as unhappy as to pick a fight with someone over bike traffic. But motives aside, situations like this are a symptom of a sick society where we forget we aren’t constantly under threat. Instead, we choose to perpetuate a scarcity mindset where any perceived advantage - like parking a meter ahead of someone at the traffic light - is taken as seriously as a mortal offense.
At first I thought it was a bit random that Simba popped into my head after this argument, but then it made sense. It either takes a pure kind of recklessness, or conscious, intentional effort to stop, take a deep breath, and ask yourself if the way you’re reacting to something is reasonable, or if you’re doing it because you’re feeling threatened. And honestly - sometimes laughing in the face of danger is the best tactic to de-escalate a situation that doesn’t need to be escalated. Our energy is precious, and there’s enough going on in the world to drain it. Probably that woman pedaled away, fuming, and complained to whoever she saw next about the clumsy cyclist that dared to overtake her on her way home. I cycled home laughing, proud of myself for protecting my energy and being unfuckwithable.
